Have you heard of the 5 Love Languages?  Do you know the love languages of the most important people in your life?  Your kids? Your Spouse?  Your friends?

What I believe is the most important principle of leadership is love.  I believe that showing love for those you lead is the most powerful thing you can do for long term results.  If short term immediate results is what you are looking for then just tell them how they need to change, but if you want lasting results and real change love is the answer. In the words of Ender Wiggin “The easiest way to make someone do something is to make them want to do it.”

Do you know how to tell the important people around you that they are loved?  Or, do you know the most effective way to tell the people around you that you love them?  I don’t believe that most people do.  We all speak our own love language and we just assume that everyone else speaks the same language.  For some a simple reassuring hand on the back is more powerful than a million dollar gift. While for others, a simple act of service means more than all the hugs, kisses, and other intimate behaviors could ever mean.

Do you want the people around you to know that you love them?  Then find out their love languages and learn to speak them.

I recently changed the head gasket for a friend of mine who overheated his Mitsubishi Gallant.  I thought we were screwed when I started it up and it made LOTS of white smoke.  I was thinking maybe the block was cracked, or I did something wrong; Which is silly because we did EVERYTHING right.  We had the head rebuilt, cleaned the block, chased out the head bolt threads.  Torqued the head bolts exactly by the book and even double checked the accuracy of our torque wrench, and after an anomaly even got a new set of head bolts and did it again to be sure.  I let it run for a while, I rev’d it up, everything to see if the smoke would go away to no avail.  It smoked for like 10 minutes. BAD too.  I told my buddy the car was scrap but he insisted he would just try to get by on it.  Well, the smoking stopped after his first drive.  And he is driving it around now without a problem.

I think what was really wrong is that while he was trying to start it after the head gasket blew a LOT of coolant made it into the exhaust.  And it just took a LONG time for all the coolant to burn out.

Two other possibilities remain.  The heating, cooling, heating, cooling, heating, cooling process may have caused the head gasket to seal better, OR divine intervention…  Lots of prayers were said on behalf of the car, and my buddy is a really really good guy who is deserving of any breaks he gets.

We have an old dog, that has some trouble with spacial coordination…  He doesn’t like going backwards…  Almost won’t do it, so he is very careful never to walk into a corner…

He also has a hard time getting things through the dog door…  See the picture below of him trying to get a bone through the dog door…  It usually takes him a half dozen or so tries before he gets it through.

Last night, my wife and I were drifting to sleep after an hour of playing plants vs zombies on our iPhones when we were awakened from sleep by our doorbell.  It was 2am.  As I got out of bed to answer the door I was thinking, “who would ring our doorbell urgently at 2am?”  I thought about grabbing a gun to take with me, but decided I would scope it out first and go back for the gun if needed (on retrospect, I decided next time I’ll just make it standard practice to take it with me when answering the door after 11pm.)

To my surprise, there were three police in our driveway.  I opened the door and greeted them.  They asked if they could search our backyard.  They didn’t volunteer why and I just assumed it was to look for someone.  I put the dogs away and the three officers and a k9 (who looked like he was having the time of his life playing “police dog”) went into our backyard and did a thorough search.  I kind of feel bad for them because our backyard has a lot of places to hide.  It took them about 5 minutes to search the whole thing.  They were very cautious. Gently pushing our shop door open to peer inside carefully, never staying in the open longer than necessary to ensure their “hide n go seek” partner wasn’t inside.  I wish I had cameras set up with Zone Minder so that if they guy did ever pass through our backyard I could give the police a good mug shot of him and point out where he went.  One day..

They came back out and said “Thanks” and wandered back out, and a few minutes later we heard our neighbor opening his gate and letting them into his yard.  The whole time, I was hoping to hear shouts of “Get on the ground!”  But no, they didn’t find him while I was awake.

I’ve had an interesting turn in respect for law enforcement offices.  It is unfortunate that most of our contact with them comes in the form of traffic violations.  I used to dis-like them.  Recently I’ve made good friends with one, and I realize their importance in maintaining an orderly society.  There are lots and lots and lots of really really really bad people.  And the police risk injury and death to take these people down and put them in jail.  And the bad ones never go willingly.  It takes a special breed to be a police officer.  While many think police are rude, that is part of their job.   The best way to stay safe for them is to stay in control of all situations, and that comes across as rude sometimes. Sure, there are some that are just plain rude, and have a superiority complex, but even they put the bad guys away and make us safer.

Now when I see a police officer, it makes me smile and feel good inside.  They are keeping us safe.  Life without the police would be anarchy.  And that would SUCK.  The next time you see a police officer, tell him thanks, and that you enjoy seeing him around. You probably don’t realize just how much they do for us that we never see.

As a funny point, my friend who is a police offer told me the other day “Did you know that we fire warning shots before shooting someone?”  I was shocked, as typically the practice (to avoid liability)  is not to shoot until you know you have the right to kill the person and then empty your magazine into them.  He said “Yeah, the first one is always followed by another dozen right behind it.”

Joey

I found this really good write up of how the TSA circumvents the 4th amendment.  Specifically their new extremely intrusive pat down methods.  As the author points out, screaming and yelling isn’t going to fix it.  To solve it, a bunch of people need to get together and follow the correct legal course of action to narrow the scope of what the TSA can and can’t do.

http://boardingarea.com/blogs/flyingwithfish/2010/11/20/how-the-tsa-legally-circumvents-the-fourth-amendment/

I bought a few pairs of an expensive brand name product with a reputation for quality.  To my dismay, they failed within months of purchase and my cheaper equivalents outlasted them by over a year.  Today while cleaning house I found them and am sending them back to the manufacturer with a note.  I have intentionally withheld the details of what and whom in this post so that the response to my letter will not in any way be influenced by my blog article. This may seem pointless to some but many companies monitor everything said about them online to maintain their public image.

When I hear back from them I’ll fill in the details and let you know what they say.

So stay tuned…

I love giving a plug for companies when they wow me with service.  Recently I picked up a set of outdoor shoes that needed new in soles.  I saved a ton of money on the shoes, so I figured I would go to a REAL shoe store and buy some quality in soles.  I googled shoe stores near me while out on an errand and stopped into the closest one too me.  It was red wing shoes in Mesa: http://www.mesa.redwingshoestore.com/?utm_source=map&utm_medium=lbc&utm_campaign=lbc

Red wing shoes carries work boots almost exclusivly, and since work boots are worn and walked on all day I figured they would really know what it takes to make a pair of shoes comfortable.

I could see they were offering great one on one service to a few customers so I sat down to wait my turn.  And boy was it worth it.  First, I forgot to bring a pair of socks (I was wearing sandles).  When it was my turn to be helped the employee said “No problem, let me get your a pair.”  Concerned about extra cost (and not wanting to be stuck with a $20 pair of socks) I asked how much they were, he said, “Oh, they’re complimentary”.  Sweet!  I explained what I needed, he showed me their selection (which is only the best, and as such easy to choose from).  He pulled out a few sets.  Put them in my shoe for me, and let me try them on, encouraged me to walk around.  He was super fantastic.  And when I left the store I had some of the most comfortable shoes I’ve ever had. The insoles didn’t cost much.  And they had a customer for life.

So, way to go Red Wing Shoes in Mesa!  You guys rock.  Thanks for making my day even better than it was.

You know how convenient it is to have your bills auto paid right? And you usually have two options, direct bacnk account withdrawl (ACH) and credit card / debit card.  Well, next time you set one of these up, use your debit card, not direct withdrawl.  I’ll tell you why in a minute.

First, some background…  Recently most of the big banks (Bank of America, Chase, Wells Fargo, etc…) have lost class action law suits because of the un-ethical way they have been cheating their customers out of over draft fees.  What they have done for many years is re-order your purchases for the day from largest to smallest.  So, let’s say you have $50 in your account, but you think you have $80.  You start your day by buying a Slurpee from 7-Eleven $1.59, than, you buy some lunch ($7.95), on the way home you get some taco bell for your kids ($5), while in the bathroom you download a new game from iTunes, and during some downtime at work, you use your Amazon Prime account, and overnight a snickers bar.  On your way home you stop to fill up your tank ($51) and without knowing it, have over drafted your account.  So, it shouldn’t be too bad, I mean you only over drafted on your gas right?  Up until then you had enough money for everything?  Well, until recently instead of one overdraft, you would have had 7.  Because…  The banks wouldn’t post everything to your account until the end of the day, when they would re-order the charges going from largest to smallest.  So, your largest purchase (the $51 gas fillup) puts you in overdraft, then all your other purchases are overdrafts as well.

Fortunately, consumers got wise, greedy lawyers stepped in and sued the pants off the banks.  The list of banks sued so far includes: Wachovia, Citibank,  Bank of America, KeyBank, FirstMerit, and lots lots more…  In fact, odds are you are eligible for part of the class action settlement (pretty much anyone who has had an overdraft fee in the last decade is).  Some of the settlements are done, but some of the banks are still in court fighting.

So, here is why you should use your debit card instead of ACH.  Due to this obvious abuse of consumers who are careless by the banks.  Congress stepped in and said “Alright guys, since you can’t be trusted to play nice, we’re going to force you.”  (Which I believe is the cause of LOTS and LOTS of legislation)  And passed a law that makes it so the consumer MUST opt-in to over draft “protection”  from now on, if you don’t have the money and a charge comes through your debit card, unless you have specificaly (and foolishly) said “Yes, please protect me next time I buy a candy bar and don’t have the money and charge me $35 for letting me spend money I don’t have.”  They cannot pay the charge and charge you an over draft fee.  Instead, they decline the charge because you don’t have the money.  (Isn’t that AWESOME!)  BUT!!  It only applies to debit card purchases.  So, next time you setup automatic bill pay for something, don’t use the automated “bank draft” use your debit card instead.  Unfortunately, the banks get a small percentage off the top of every debit card purchase you make (in the form of Merchant Account Fees), so either way the banks win, but this way, you don’t loose.

What is interesting, is that in our country there is a thing called “Small Claims Court”.  If you really feel you are right, take someone to court.  Odds are that they will just settle with you, it is a LOT cheaper for them to settle than for them to send a lawyer to defend them.  So, the next time you feel that you have been unfairly treated by a company, take ‘em to court!  Here is a guy that made a short documentary about taking Wells Fargo to court over overdraft fees.  http://current.com/shows/max-and-jason-still-up/88849140_how-to-beat-the-bank.htm  If more people did this to abusive corporations the corporations might hesitate to abuse.

So, it’s draft clearing time.  My blog has gathered some dust, and I decided to purge my blog’s drafts folder and tidy up and publish some of the articles I haven’t yet published…  Unfortunately, I have no idea what “For the Love of Cars” was supposed to be about… Most of my drafts have an opening paragraph or something, but this draft was completely blank other than the title…

My guess is, that I was going to say something about how awesome cars are, and how in love I am with them, or write something illuminating about the billions of dollars that are wasted on disposable property…

I think I’ll do both!

Cars are cool.  I like them.  They provide many things, including amazing amounts of freedom.  Imagine life without cars.  How far away would it be practical for you to live from your job, your church, your school?  What about your friends?  How frequently could you visit friends that weren’t close by?  Yeah, pretty big change huh?

Unfortunately, most cars are treated as disposable.  It is purchased for about 1/8th to 1/4 the price of ones home, driven for a while (2 to 10 years depending upon your life style), and then goes to a junkyard.  All the effort that was spent in building that car, provided a benefit for a while, and then was thrown out.  It amazes me when I sit in an old car and imagine what it was like when it was brand new.  I look around it, and think to myself, “People paid thousands and thousands of dollars for THIS?”  Look what it has become?  I think this is a reflection of the shortsighted “I want it now!” attitude that comes standard in all people.  I am NOT saying it is bad to own nice things, I just think a lot of time and money is wasted on extravagant cars that aren’t going to last long.  A car is a tool, it will waste away until it is worthless.  Is it worth investing more than is necessary on?